Dad Jokes for Every Kid Big and Small
Enjoy a laugh with all the family These jokes are often stupid but they will always make you laugh giggle or cry. Please Enjoy! -----------------------------------------------------------
Who Designed King Arthurs Round Table?
How Do You Make Holy water
** You boil the hell out of it.
Why did the student eat his homework?
** Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake
Why did the Blonde walk into a post office talking into an envelope?
** Because she wanted to send a voice mail
What is Brown and Sticky?
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
** Because He was outstanding in his field
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
** Great Food No atmosphere
Waiter; Do you want a box for your leftovers?
** No but I will wrestle you for them
Did you hear about the guy who cut off the left side of his body?
** He is all right now
Guess what time the man went to the dentist
** Tooth hurty
Today, my son asked, “Can I have a book mark?”
** I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is Brian.
Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France?
** They were cooked in Greece.
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
** Nobody knows.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
** Igloos it together.
How many apples grow on a tree?
** All of them.
What did a man say when he walked in to a bar
** OUCH !!!!
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
** He pasta way!
How do you make a Kleenex dance?
** Put some boogie in it!
You’re Australian when you go into the bathroom, and you’re Australian when you come out, but do you know what you are while you’re in there?
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, “Awwww, I wish my friends were here.”
Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, “It’s dark in here isn’t it?” The other replied, “I don’t know; I can’t see.”
A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, “Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes…”
A husband and wife were driving through NSW. As they approached Coonabarabran, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?” She leaned over the counter and said, “Burrr-gerrr Kiiing.”
Blonde: “What does IDK stand for?”
Brunette: “I don’t know.”
Blonde: “OMG, nobody does!”